what should i do? separation is not the answer, i do not want to be separated from the person i love with all of my  heart. i understand the fact that if we are meant to be together then we will be together in the end, but i dont want to wait for that. i want to work things out now. i am slowly slipping back into my state of depression that i was in a little bit over a year ago, until i met the person who i knew i was going to spend the rest of my life with and for the past year i have been one of the happiest people on this planet. but i guess god hates me, i guess i am being punished, i guess im supposed to be depressed for the rest of my life.

i dont know what else to say other than i want, need, and love this man with all of my heart. and yes i was hurt, but love overcomes that, as well as truth, and he has been completely honest with me throught all of our relationship.

benjamin, i love you and always will. i hope that we will be able to continue what we started. i understand that this is not easy for you either, but you are the one who called the break. it is definitely not easy for me. because i see no reason why you would want this.